CHANGES THAT HEAL

first impressions of this book -

writing style isn't one of my faves. i've only read a chapter and a half, and i've noticed a bunch of 'i would/n'ts', like...

1. i wouldn't exhaust a topic by providing 5 analogies when one will do
   
2. i would be wary of extremely bold statements (in the acknowledgement section, he said something like - there has never been a single experience when i wasn't influenced by so and so - hmm, i find that unlikely.)
   
3. i would be wary of compartmentalization, dichotomies, etc. though i'm proceeding with the approach that this book seems to be one that would prove most useful if its ideas/concepts are taken in w/a grain of salt. the concepts thus far are new to me, so my mind's definitely been jarred, and i like that. stuff that provides new ways of looking at things (esp. things that have driven me nuts for a long time) is always somewhat exciting.
   
4. i would spend less time on elaborating the concepts and more time providing suggestions for practical use. there's one part where i felt overwhelmed by analogies but was left hanging waiting for the punchline, so to speak - or an actual practical tangible suggestion for how to deal with the particular issue.
   

now let's dig in a bit...

Grace and Truth

interesting not-so-dichotomous perspective. ironically, my name means grace, but grace wasn't present in any way i could truly appreciate in my life until i found Him. and this last relationship wasn't peppered with enough grace for my taste. there was a lot of truth, but not much grace. not much trust, not much faith, not much a lot of things.

but now at least, there's Time.

a take-away: the parts that are hidden cannot grow. redemptive time, he calls it. good time. use it.

THE AMATEUR MARRIAGE

began the book last night. opens with the first encounter of a pair of lovebirds in 1941 baltimore. eh. we'll see if it picks up. perhaps i just wasn't in the mood.

update: 12/12/04
flying through a novel. it was okay-written, but getting swept up in a lifestory is certainly an experience. i cried. the plot was quite believable, and that's what made it so heart-wrenching. why does life have to be so complicated??? the whole soulmate thing doesn't always overcome, or does it? do you think you'd be happier with a companion more like yourself? would you choose peace or passion, if they didn't come in one package? would you sacrifice your true love in this lifetime if there was a chance you could be together in the afterlife?

update: 12/13/04
and just how long can happy memories keep you going? i read somewhere (i think in one of those self-help relationship books) that a good gauge of a healthy relationship is that you have 5:1 good memories to bad. it also outlined three kinds of relationships, with some interesting points about these. unfortunately, i think the book's in a box in the basement, along w/my many others, and i can't remember the title (perhaps it's 'when anger hurts').

anyway, the amateur marriage made me think of it. also, there's a scene in the movie, just married, where the dad tells the son that the pictures in their scrapbook only captured the happy moments, and those are the ones you have to turn to sometimes to get you through the bad times.

but sometimes, sadly, it's not enough. why isn't it enough? should it be? and what does it mean when the one you love wants to photograph the bad times (literally)? what does that imply about the kind of mindset that person has? so how then, could that already rocky relationship be expected to survive?

GOD'S DEBRIS

will have to re-read and mark up. it is a thought experiment, after all. began to challenge, but it's amazing the precision of god's timing. faith is the answer, and sunday's communion was uplifting. i cried.

and begin again.

books i've picked up since october 2003...

1. the learning paradox - is like a textbook. currently stored in a box in the basement
   
2. when anger hurts - is an intense study guide/do as you go. lots of dedication required. currently stored in a box in the basement
   
3. the new american poverty - think i read most of this one. can't remember a lick. gov't policies, etc. eh. dry. also in that box in the basement
   
4. woman's answer to anger - is redneck. what's up with all the dental metaphors? tooth decay, cavities, mouth puss. EEW.
   
5. the bible - good book. read john. he's blunt. makes jesus sound impatient, almost.
   
6. the case for faith - maybe i'm not too into this type of book right now. i'm not as wowed as w/the case for christ